#31 - From Court Officer to Beauty Entrepreneur with Jamie Zeno

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:03.708 --> 00:00:06.674
Court reporters hold one of the most important roles in the justice system.

00:00:06.674 --> 00:00:13.528
We're entrusted with the official records of the courts and we also have to run our own businesses, which is not something most of us were prepared for.

00:00:13.528 --> 00:00:22.983
I'm Bryn Seymour, freelance court reporter and life coach, and I invite you to join the discussion about the problems we face and the solutions we create on the unique journey of a stenographer.

00:00:22.983 --> 00:00:26.402
Welcome to the Entrepreneurial Court Reporter podcast.

00:00:26.402 --> 00:00:34.273
Hi, jamie, hi, how are you?

00:00:34.914 --> 00:00:35.515
I'm good.

00:00:35.515 --> 00:00:36.015
How are you?

00:00:36.015 --> 00:00:38.439
I'm good, I'm great, great.

00:00:40.404 --> 00:00:41.268
Where are you right now?

00:00:41.268 --> 00:00:42.703
You're in New York, right?

00:00:43.243 --> 00:00:44.286
Yes, yes, new York.

00:00:44.286 --> 00:00:46.229
Of course, I'm a resident of Yonkers.

00:00:46.831 --> 00:00:54.546
Oh, Yonkers, okay, because I was looking at your website and I saw that you were doing business in Long Island and now you moved right.

00:00:55.240 --> 00:01:04.564
Yes, yes, yes, so that I did Long Island for maybe a year and then I'm actually opening up in Ridge Hill in Yonkers, January.

00:01:04.844 --> 00:01:05.507
Oh, awesome.

00:01:05.507 --> 00:01:06.930
Wow, that is so exciting.

00:01:06.930 --> 00:01:10.608
You have a lot of things coming along the way, thank you, thank you I do.

00:01:10.608 --> 00:01:21.203
First I'm just going to ask you to introduce yourself and share a little bit about who you are, and then I'm going to ask you some questions about your career as a court officer and also as sergeant.

00:01:21.203 --> 00:01:26.596
Now as your business venture, so go ahead.

00:01:27.298 --> 00:01:27.519
Yeah.

00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:29.865
So okay, I'm Jamie Zeno.

00:01:29.865 --> 00:01:33.730
Obviously I was always a Brooklyn girl, born and raised in Brooklyn.

00:01:33.730 --> 00:01:38.170
I ended up moving to Yonkers straight out of the academy.

00:01:38.170 --> 00:01:43.861
I've been in the courts going on eight years now, I guess you could say.

00:01:43.861 --> 00:01:53.793
When I was younger I've always had a passion for law enforcement and then I had relatives that were obviously law enforcement and then my uncle an attorney and stuff like that.

00:01:53.793 --> 00:01:58.111
I just gravitated to it and I always said I wanted some action.

00:01:58.111 --> 00:02:08.604
So being in the Bronx has given me the action that I've needed and probably could do away with at this point.

00:02:08.604 --> 00:02:13.926
I actually just got a transfer to Westchester.

00:02:14.929 --> 00:02:16.451
Oh wow, Congratulations.

00:02:16.711 --> 00:02:17.493
Thank you, thank you.

00:02:17.493 --> 00:02:25.152
So I'm now in the ninth JD as of last Thursday and it's definitely different in a good way.

00:02:25.152 --> 00:02:27.686
It's more like a breath of fresh air.

00:02:27.686 --> 00:02:30.990
I've definitely been embracing that a lot more.

00:02:30.990 --> 00:02:41.122
I feel like the time it came at a perfect time, when it's just like needed and it was something that I didn't know I needed, let's say, but it came when it was needed.

00:02:41.122 --> 00:02:51.067
So that's where I'm at with the courts so far, as well as opening up a beauty and wellness lounge in January in Ridge Hill.

00:02:51.067 --> 00:02:52.169
I'll be doing that.

00:02:52.169 --> 00:02:59.829
I also am a life coach life and health coach and I also have an organic skincare and makeup line online.

00:02:59.990 --> 00:03:08.185
Okay, wow, so you have both like a brick and mortar shop and you have an online business, so that you can serve more people throughout the world.

00:03:08.185 --> 00:03:09.649
Right, exactly.

00:03:09.649 --> 00:03:16.685
So you're a law enforcement officer and you've always been interested in the legal industry and in law enforcement.

00:03:16.685 --> 00:03:21.310
So is that because you had family in it, or how did that intrigue you?

00:03:22.561 --> 00:03:26.651
I don't think my family really had any type of influence on me.

00:03:26.651 --> 00:03:28.866
I thought that their jobs were pretty cool.

00:03:28.866 --> 00:03:38.467
I had a cousin in Puerto Rico who actually was a police officer, and then I have one here in NYPD who is in counterterrorism.

00:03:38.467 --> 00:03:49.651
And so just at the time that my cousin out here was going through his academy, I was actually I was living in Vegas.

00:03:49.651 --> 00:03:50.453
Let's start with that.

00:03:50.453 --> 00:04:01.627
I was living in Vegas at the time and he was telling me how crazy it was and how demanding it was of him and I was just thinking to myself like wow, that seems cool.

00:04:01.627 --> 00:04:10.227
And when he got on the job he would tell me so much about it and I was just fascinated by the law enforcement industry.

00:04:10.520 --> 00:04:15.792
And so when I lived in Vegas, I originally went out there to do their PD training.

00:04:15.792 --> 00:04:18.247
That actually went really well until I got homesick.

00:04:18.247 --> 00:04:22.110
And then, once I got homesick, I was like no, I want to come back home.

00:04:22.110 --> 00:04:25.569
And my mom was like no, why would you do that?

00:04:25.569 --> 00:04:29.564
Like you've made it so far out there, why don't you just stay?

00:04:29.564 --> 00:04:32.449
And I was just like no, I'm ready to come back home.

00:04:32.449 --> 00:04:33.161
I miss New York.

00:04:34.699 --> 00:05:02.829
And when I came back, I ended up taking the exam for the courts and I would say about 2009 maybe, but then they had that hiring freeze, so that held me back quite some years and actually, when I think about it now, I'm like, wow, I could have had like maybe 15 years on the job right now, had they actually just moved along, but because they didn't and they had the freeze, I didn't go in until 2016.

00:05:03.079 --> 00:05:14.189
The court officer job always intrigues me and it's just really to me it's very spiritual, like I see it in a spiritual way, like as you guys are, like the guardian cherubs, like the guardian angels and that's cute.

00:05:14.189 --> 00:05:17.225
I never made that association with it, but that's a good way to look at it.

00:05:17.225 --> 00:05:17.807
I like that.

00:05:17.807 --> 00:05:19.326
It's just how I see it.

00:05:19.326 --> 00:05:44.427
When I see, like the judge making a decision on what to do with the defendant or in our case, in family court, like the respondent and those officers are always ready, and when that, as soon as the judge makes the decision, they're either they retreat and like go away from them or they're there like standing their ground, ready for anything to happen, and it's just really cool.

00:05:44.427 --> 00:05:47.846
I see it as like they're guarding the throne and it's really awesome.

00:05:47.846 --> 00:05:50.829
So I always tell people like you should look into it.

00:05:50.899 --> 00:05:56.547
It's really I would love for you know, to know more people in the workplace and it's like a fun place to work.

00:05:56.547 --> 00:06:00.661
Actually, bronx Family Court is like a kind of like a family, like they did.

00:06:00.661 --> 00:06:07.543
Like just yesterday we did a staff appreciation lunch where I actually got to perform and sing a song and with one of the other oh, so cute.

00:06:07.543 --> 00:06:10.427
So how do you become a court officer?

00:06:10.427 --> 00:06:11.745
Like you said, you went to an academy.

00:06:12.759 --> 00:06:16.863
Yes, there's an academy and, by the way, I actually started out in Bronx Family Court.

00:06:17.446 --> 00:06:19.404
Oh, really Did you love it.

00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:20.786
I did, I did love it.

00:06:20.786 --> 00:06:21.161
It was.

00:06:21.161 --> 00:06:22.927
It's exactly what you said.

00:06:22.927 --> 00:06:25.028
It's like a close knit family.

00:06:25.028 --> 00:06:29.526
That's exactly the feel that I got for it and that's what I missed, you know.

00:06:29.526 --> 00:06:31.264
So, yes, there's an academy.

00:06:31.264 --> 00:06:32.088
You have to take a test.

00:06:32.088 --> 00:06:34.848
You have the exam comes out every four years.

00:06:34.848 --> 00:06:38.367
It's supposed to be every four years, but sometimes they delay it a little bit.

00:06:38.519 --> 00:06:40.887
So do you work with court reporters directly?

00:06:42.019 --> 00:06:44.689
We do, yes, we do Absolutely.

00:06:45.262 --> 00:06:46.365
I know most.

00:06:46.365 --> 00:06:47.569
I mean, I know I work.

00:06:47.569 --> 00:06:54.406
Obviously every court reporter works with court officers, but I don't think every court officer works with court reporters because of the shortage.

00:06:54.406 --> 00:06:59.625
I just wanted to ask because I know a lot of courtrooms are using FTR now, unfortunately.

00:07:00.728 --> 00:07:10.605
Right right, so we know that you know family court uses FTR when some parts some of them don't Like I know the juvenile parts they have the court reporters.

00:07:11.060 --> 00:07:12.125
It's just the one thing.

00:07:12.125 --> 00:07:16.206
It's like when there's a shortage and they don't have enough court reporters, they have no choice.

00:07:16.466 --> 00:07:17.641
Yeah, yeah, it's been.

00:07:17.641 --> 00:07:23.766
You know, it's been like that for a while, and every time we have a court reporter, we kind of develop a really good relationship with them.

00:07:23.766 --> 00:07:29.749
I mean, we all work together at the end of the day, and so it's just pretty cool to see what you guys do.

00:07:29.749 --> 00:07:34.858
So we're always asking questions and we're like, oh my gosh, like how do you, how do you keep up?

00:07:34.858 --> 00:07:40.324
You know, like, how do you listen to this person and that person and then still manage to, like you know, get everything?

00:07:40.324 --> 00:07:42.901
And we're like, wow, you guys are super amazing at what you do.

00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:45.223
So thank you.

00:07:45.966 --> 00:07:46.327
Thank you.

00:07:48.120 --> 00:07:49.524
Yeah, it's definitely.

00:07:49.524 --> 00:08:11.668
Communication between the court reporter and the court officer is really important because sometimes, like when they just recently hired a whole wave of new officers, they had to adjust a little bit because sometimes they would just start calling the cases without letting us know and maybe the judge isn't even ready or we're not ready.

00:08:11.668 --> 00:08:15.524
I mean, the judge obviously has to be ready, but we also have to be ready.

00:08:15.524 --> 00:08:22.149
If they start calling the case and we're like not prepared, you know we're taking a sip of our water or something.

00:08:22.209 --> 00:08:22.711
Right.

00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:38.225
Like we have to have a little bit of a heads up, so the officers kind of get the hang of like making giving us a nod or something, or getting a nod from us to make sure that we're all ready to go and that the record is gonna be accurate and everything is set up properly.

00:08:39.128 --> 00:08:44.065
Absolutely, and I actually had an encounter in a criminal court right before I transferred.

00:08:44.065 --> 00:08:51.879
One of the officers actually started calling the case and there was no court reporter there because she had stepped away to the bathroom, oh my God.

00:08:51.879 --> 00:08:52.802
And he called it.

00:08:52.802 --> 00:08:56.664
And then the judge starts, and then we're like judge, judge, there's no court reporter.

00:08:56.664 --> 00:09:00.846
You're like oh my gosh, that's important.

00:09:02.539 --> 00:09:18.686
That just happened in court the other day that I stepped out of the courtroom and then I came back in like literally like a minute or two minutes after, because I was just using the bathroom in the judge's room right behind the courtroom and she thought she got.

00:09:18.686 --> 00:09:20.171
The judge got so scared.

00:09:20.171 --> 00:09:26.124
She was like, wait a minute, were you not in here for the case that they had called it, which I was in there for?

00:09:26.124 --> 00:09:26.546
Thank God.

00:09:26.546 --> 00:09:31.225
But she was like, oh my gosh, wait, were you here, Did we just do that without you?

00:09:31.225 --> 00:09:31.989
She got like hurt.

00:09:31.989 --> 00:09:33.625
She almost had like a heart attack.

00:09:33.625 --> 00:09:36.678
So yeah, the court reporter.

00:09:36.759 --> 00:09:37.383
That was hilarious.

00:09:37.899 --> 00:09:39.206
Definitely important.

00:09:39.206 --> 00:09:48.129
But yeah, it's so cool to see all the different parts in the justice system and get a glimpse into each one.

00:09:48.129 --> 00:10:04.024
I mean, I know you recently were promoted from a court officer to a sergeant, so it seems like you probably really manage your time well, because not only are you working full time, but you also have beauty businesses and your coaching business.

00:10:04.024 --> 00:10:07.268
So which one do you wanna start talking about first?

00:10:08.787 --> 00:10:25.408
Like which one the COVID started, and I noticed like there was like a decline in people's confidence and how they felt about themselves, and nobody was able to do their nails, nobody was able to go to just the hair salon or whatever.

00:10:25.408 --> 00:10:29.691
So I said, well, let me kind of make light of the situation.

00:10:29.691 --> 00:10:42.522
And so I started a beauty channel on YouTube and I started using the products that I had that I found that were really good for skin or like.

00:10:42.522 --> 00:10:54.988
I would do hair tutorials and stuff like that, and I even did like a powder dip nail tutorial on how to do it and how to remove it, and so that actually was pretty good.

00:10:54.988 --> 00:11:02.428
A lot of people really responded well to that one, and so at some point I was like, why am I spending all this money on Sephora?

00:11:02.428 --> 00:11:08.208
Don't get me wrong, love Sephora, but I could just put that money into something for me.

00:11:08.208 --> 00:11:21.327
And so I started looking for manufacturers and starting to figure out what I wanted the brand to be, what I wanted it to look like, and started just putting everything together in that time.

00:11:21.327 --> 00:11:28.129
And then I made it official and I finally launched it in June of 2021.

00:11:28.129 --> 00:11:56.225
And I was just like in awe at how everything just came about so fast, because when you're in it and you're doing it, you don't really pay attention to the speed that you're going and you don't really realize how much time and energy you're dedicating to what you love to do until, like it actually happens, you take a step back and you're like oh, wow, like I actually made that happen and I didn't even realize that I was really making it happen that fast.

00:11:56.225 --> 00:12:00.369
So that came about for then.

00:12:01.020 --> 00:12:28.510
And then, I would say, about a year later, I decided to do something with my estheticians license and then I also did a certification in Queens for, like, body contouring and all this stuff, and I was kind of like fascinated by it because I couldn't believe that you could actually lose weight, you could actually lose inches so fast, non-invasive.

00:12:28.510 --> 00:12:31.989
So I was just like oh, wow, like this is pretty cool.

00:12:31.989 --> 00:12:49.341
So I started to perfect my craft in that and I was like you know, this all ties in, because I like helping people feel good about themselves and I like bringing confidence back to people, and so I was like they have the resources.

00:12:49.341 --> 00:13:00.240
I want to be able to provide them with the resources and that being okay, well, they have the makeup, they have the skincare they have, the body contouring that can come to me for facials.

00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:06.562
Like I felt like there's no reason why anyone should feel less than for any reason.

00:13:07.269 --> 00:13:13.975
And so I think that icing on the cake came to me last year when I was just like I would love to do life coaching.

00:13:13.975 --> 00:13:30.999
Like I noticed that people always gravitated to me and always wanted to like pour their life stories to me and I'm just like, oh my God, I always found that in return, I always gave them like something motivational to take from it or something encouraging, and I was just like you know what this is great?

00:13:30.999 --> 00:13:42.679
Like this kind of ties into everything, because now it's not only the physical that I'm trying to improve with people, I'm also now working on their mindset and the inner work that they're trying to do.

00:13:42.679 --> 00:13:44.423
I can actually help them with that.

00:13:44.423 --> 00:13:51.222
So then I went to the health coach Institute and I got certified for a life coach and health coach as well.

00:13:51.222 --> 00:13:53.235
And here we are.

00:13:54.970 --> 00:13:56.215
What is body contouring?

00:13:56.215 --> 00:13:58.836
It sounds like putting makeup on your body.

00:14:02.783 --> 00:14:02.984
No.

00:14:02.984 --> 00:14:32.738
So, for example, we use, like these, specialized machines for it, and so we have one, for example, that's like an ultrasound machine, somewhat right, and so the ultrasound waves basically break down the fat in the areas that we like, use it on, and the whole time that it's basically it resembles a sonogram, as the providers just basically, like you know, doing the motions and treating the whole area, it actually melts and liquefies the fat.

00:14:32.738 --> 00:14:36.735
So the whole time it's doing that, yeah, it's liquefying the fat.

00:14:36.735 --> 00:14:42.020
Yeah, body contouring basically is a noninvasive way of losing fat.

00:14:44.472 --> 00:14:48.061
Like you know, like those red laser lights that you can get on your face.

00:14:48.789 --> 00:14:58.181
So it's like that, except laser light on your body to melt the fat and then Right, so another one of the machines we have is actually laser lights, and we call it laser lipo.

00:14:58.841 --> 00:14:59.062
Wow.

00:14:59.062 --> 00:15:05.261
So I mean, is there a portion of teaching them how to maintain the weight loss or like is?

00:15:05.322 --> 00:15:05.923
it sustainable.

00:15:05.923 --> 00:15:10.360
It is sustainable and I do give post treatment care options for them.

00:15:10.690 --> 00:15:22.019
The most effective way to do anything, I think, is through life coaching Right because it's all in our mindset we can literally accomplish whatever we want, absolutely.

00:15:22.149 --> 00:15:24.894
And I tell people, everything starts with the mindset.

00:15:24.894 --> 00:15:35.578
Whether it's the fact that you know you're depressed, you're going through a divorce, your finances, whatever All of this stems from your mindset, like how you view things.

00:15:35.578 --> 00:15:38.423
You know and a lot of times people don't understand.

00:15:38.423 --> 00:15:41.360
But when you're young, you know you're like a sponge.

00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:42.113
You absorb.

00:15:42.514 --> 00:15:54.058
Your crucial moments in life Take place when you're like about anywhere from five to like seven years old, because that's when you're absorbing the most and that's when it's like a make or break situation.

00:15:54.058 --> 00:16:03.355
That's when you could have the parents that motivate you and they're like you know you're unstoppable, you can achieve whatever you want, like don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't.

00:16:03.355 --> 00:16:10.256
Or you could have the parents that are like you know, like what's wrong with you, what are you stupid, you're never going to be anything, you know.

00:16:10.256 --> 00:16:19.445
So this is what carries on throughout your life, you know, and what you're exposed to, the environment that you're exposed to.

00:16:19.445 --> 00:16:26.302
At the end of the day, we all have a choice to either become what we've seen, or we can take that and we can say you know what.

00:16:26.302 --> 00:16:32.196
That's the guide that I'm going to use for what I do not want to become and I'm going to do different.

00:16:32.196 --> 00:16:33.996
It's all about your mindset.

00:16:33.996 --> 00:16:36.638
It's all about how strong you are mentally.

00:16:36.638 --> 00:16:40.519
If you're mentally weak, you're always going to look at yourself as a victim.

00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:43.557
You're always going to feel like you can't do something.

00:16:43.557 --> 00:16:51.841
You know you're always going to set your own limitations and I tell people all the time, like nobody stops you in this world from doing what you want to do.

00:16:51.841 --> 00:16:55.217
You stop yourself with your mindset.

00:16:55.217 --> 00:16:57.150
It's on you.

00:16:57.150 --> 00:17:08.516
Because if you continuously feed this energy to yourself that I can't, I can't, I can't why I won't, or I don't think they would choose me, or I don't think I'm right for it, then what are you doing?

00:17:08.516 --> 00:17:10.515
You're telling yourself this.

00:17:10.515 --> 00:17:11.615
So why do you need any of these?

00:17:11.615 --> 00:17:12.994
You're your own worst enemy.

00:17:14.009 --> 00:17:18.517
So change your mindset, and I'm not saying that it's easy to do.

00:17:18.517 --> 00:17:25.182
Doing the inner work is very difficult, you know, and the universe will challenge you like it will.

00:17:25.182 --> 00:17:34.304
God will always send things your way to test you, and it's either make a break for you and you have to react in these situations.

00:17:34.304 --> 00:17:52.395
If you can compare yourself to how you were a couple of years ago and actually start thinking and comparing yourself to how you are now and you can kind of gain the differences that you feel you need to like work on and things that maybe you want to tweak, it's really not impossible.

00:17:52.395 --> 00:17:53.515
You can do it.

00:17:53.515 --> 00:17:56.214
But if you're not disciplined?

00:17:56.214 --> 00:17:57.198
Where are you going to go?

00:17:57.819 --> 00:17:58.662
Well, well said.

00:17:58.662 --> 00:18:00.752
Yeah, thank you.

00:18:00.752 --> 00:18:13.145
Like the power of a word or a thought is so crazy to me, because a word from your parents or from anyone who you look up to, or just anyone at all.

00:18:13.390 --> 00:18:17.472
It doesn't just disappear, like the words we speak to someone and that they hear.

00:18:17.472 --> 00:18:28.226
It becomes a seed in their mind and can grow to something negative or something positive, depending on what the intention and the word was that was spoken.

00:18:28.226 --> 00:18:38.943
So I always, like you know, I always like to keep that in mind for myself when thinking, trying to create a goal or trying to reach, create a result or reach a goal.

00:18:38.943 --> 00:18:45.221
It's really according to what we're thinking and according to our faith and what we believe we can accomplish.

00:18:45.769 --> 00:18:46.453
Absolutely.

00:18:46.453 --> 00:18:53.241
One thing that I would sell people to, along with mindset, goes discipline, because discipline is major key.

00:18:53.241 --> 00:19:03.784
A lot of people struggle with discipline and some people find it a little easier if you're disciplined in what you want to do and you can actually say you know what.

00:19:03.784 --> 00:19:06.237
I know that I need to make this change.

00:19:06.237 --> 00:19:10.760
I'm tired of getting like the same outcome and everything that I do.

00:19:10.760 --> 00:19:12.977
It's time to change my mindset.

00:19:13.089 --> 00:19:30.486
It's like, like I said before, it's not going to be easy, it will be challenging, but if you develop that discipline and you're like no, like, this is something that I prioritize, this is something that is going to be beneficial for me in my future, in everything my relationship, my finances, my career.

00:19:30.486 --> 00:19:43.836
You know, if these are things that you truly want to do, you're going to discipline yourself to make time for it and you're going to invest in yourself, and that's the one thing I always tell people investing in yourself, it's actually the best thing you can do.

00:19:43.836 --> 00:19:46.655
You invest in everybody else's business, right?

00:19:46.655 --> 00:19:48.340
We buy food, we buy clothes.

00:19:48.340 --> 00:19:49.871
We do all of that, okay?

00:19:49.871 --> 00:19:54.056
Investing in yourself can take you so much further.

00:19:55.171 --> 00:19:59.250
So, People don't understand that and people don't want to do that.

00:19:59.250 --> 00:20:05.885
They look at it as, oh well, I don't think I deserve to spend this much money on what I need to do or what I want to do.

00:20:05.885 --> 00:20:20.469
And even with clients you know some clients sometimes they take a little while to come to me and they're like, oh well, I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it or I had to manage my money, and I'm like, hey, that's all good and dandy.

00:20:20.469 --> 00:20:21.794
You know, that's great, I get it.

00:20:21.794 --> 00:20:26.548
Life has its way sometimes, so I understand it.

00:20:27.220 --> 00:20:38.507
But I always tell people, if you find a way to actually invest in yourself, you will see and you will reap the fruits that you've bared like in this whole time, like it'll be amazing.

00:20:38.507 --> 00:20:47.084
Honestly, I just love seeing people really reach a level that they thought would never happen for them.

00:20:47.084 --> 00:20:48.743
It's a beautiful thing.

00:20:48.743 --> 00:21:01.369
And as I'm going with them through the changes, just the feedback that I get, like when they're like, oh, my God, like thank you so much, the light bulb went off, like I didn't even know that I was doing this and you're right.

00:21:01.369 --> 00:21:05.888
And then they start telling me like yeah, like my husband is noticing the change now.

00:21:05.888 --> 00:21:09.124
Like we don't fight, we don't argue, we can communicate now.

00:21:09.124 --> 00:21:14.830
Or like I'm present more with my kids and before I wasn't like this is great.

00:21:14.830 --> 00:21:22.294
Or are people just attracting new opportunities into their life that they didn't even think was going to happen?

00:21:22.294 --> 00:21:23.726
They're just like, oh my gosh.

00:21:23.726 --> 00:21:32.005
And I'm like, yeah, with mindset and discipline comes the manifestation of the life that you actually want to live.

00:21:33.128 --> 00:21:41.294
Yep, and we have the responsibility as business owners, as human beings who want to make something out of our future.

00:21:41.294 --> 00:21:47.352
We have the responsibility to make it happen and to invest in our greatest assets.

00:21:47.352 --> 00:21:55.488
And you know, to some people they might think XYZ or whatever is their greatest asset, but in reality we are our own greatest assets.

00:21:56.299 --> 00:21:59.210
If we invest in ourselves and in our brain.

00:21:59.210 --> 00:22:13.411
Like people just don't trust themselves enough to invest in themselves, so they'll put their money into the stock market before they'll put it into themselves because they're like I trusted that this company will succeed more than I'll succeed, right, right, right.

00:22:13.411 --> 00:22:21.690
And like people invest their money into things they have absolutely no control over, but we have complete control over ourselves and our destiny.

00:22:21.690 --> 00:22:25.170
Like we can make things happen if we decide to and if we set our minds to it.

00:22:25.170 --> 00:22:29.310
So I think you know I've invested a lot of money on life coaching.

00:22:29.380 --> 00:22:49.227
I spent about $6,000 on a financial coach because I didn't know how to manage my money, but I knew even though I don't have the money or I can't really afford to do this right now, I knew that it would be worth it, because if I can figure out how to manage my money, then I won't have to worry about having money problems ever in the future.

00:22:49.547 --> 00:22:51.431
Like it's worth it Exactly it is.

00:22:51.431 --> 00:22:52.051
It is.

00:22:52.051 --> 00:22:54.905
And I myself invested in a life coach.

00:22:54.905 --> 00:23:03.246
I felt like, you know, for some reason I felt like I was just going in circles with everything that I was doing and I'm like, oh my gosh, like what is it?

00:23:03.246 --> 00:23:14.328
And luckily I had good people in my corner, good friends that always said, well, you know, we don't want to sound rude or anything, but what if it's you?

00:23:14.328 --> 00:23:19.330
What if it's just like your attitude to how you perceive things and how you receive things?

00:23:19.330 --> 00:23:22.567
And I was like, well, I never thought of it that way.

00:23:23.339 --> 00:23:29.727
And then when I started seeing a life coach, she was really great and she started pointing out certain things that I was doing.

00:23:29.727 --> 00:23:37.144
And you know, she was really good with pinpointing things that happen from when we're young and how we bring it in over.

00:23:37.144 --> 00:23:38.528
And I was like you know what?

00:23:38.528 --> 00:23:39.451
She's very right.

00:23:39.451 --> 00:23:48.050
Like I'm carrying this on, like she's, like you don't have to be guarded, like to make a point and like let people know that you mean business.

00:23:48.050 --> 00:23:59.230
You don't have to really put on this heavy armor and say like, all right, like I'm here to fight the world, to show them that you know, I have something to prove.

00:23:59.230 --> 00:24:06.044
She was just like you can let the guard down and you can still mean business, like it's okay.

00:24:06.779 --> 00:24:16.440
So I had to learn how to do that and I found that a lot of my relationships were just like going in the same circles and I'm like, what is it Like?

00:24:16.440 --> 00:24:17.143
What could it be?

00:24:17.143 --> 00:24:31.484
And as I started to slowly just work on myself and do the inner work, I noticed my environment was changing, my relationships were changing, my friendships were changing and I started to just grow.

00:24:31.484 --> 00:24:33.670
And with growth comes loss.

00:24:34.299 --> 00:24:44.906
You lose friendships that you had, you lose family members that maybe you were close to, because at that time the person you used to be, you're no longer them.

00:24:44.906 --> 00:24:52.044
So now that you're growing their chapter's done in your life, that's it Like they were meant to be.

00:24:52.044 --> 00:24:58.571
With the old you, the new, you will develop new opportunities, new friendships, new everything, new relationships.

00:24:58.571 --> 00:25:01.686
That person is the person you're building now.

00:25:01.686 --> 00:25:05.128
So it doesn't mean that you change who you are.

00:25:05.128 --> 00:25:07.367
Your personality still remains the same.

00:25:07.367 --> 00:25:08.724
You're still a good person.

00:25:08.724 --> 00:25:14.471
It just means that your goals and what you look at, what you prioritize, have changed.

00:25:14.471 --> 00:25:22.854
And so now you're ready to step into that new life of yours, as opposed to just being stagnant in the old one.

00:25:24.281 --> 00:25:25.344
Absolutely, I don't think.

00:25:25.344 --> 00:25:47.115
I think it's hard for people to let go of certain things because they feel bad, they feel guilty, but but in reality, like that's a part of our life, like we have to grow into who we want to become, and sometimes the relationships we had before or the activities we did before don't support our eventual goal or our you know, our future self that we desire to be.

00:25:47.115 --> 00:25:51.470
So it's definitely it's okay.

00:25:51.470 --> 00:25:52.491
It's okay to do that.

00:25:52.491 --> 00:25:54.663
It is, it's okay to let go.

00:25:54.923 --> 00:25:56.866
It's absolutely okay.

00:25:56.866 --> 00:26:09.386
And I always tell people that and I'm like, listen, even like when I'm coaching clients, you know, I always tell them like this is not going to be something that happens overnight, like I get that, but you have to make small changes.

00:26:09.386 --> 00:26:17.559
I always say small habits lead to bigger habits, and when you develop bigger habits they become healthier habits and then everything starts to change for you.

00:26:17.559 --> 00:26:23.685
So I also teach my clients not to speak negatively upon themselves.

00:26:23.685 --> 00:26:34.436
I'm a firm believer that the tongue is very mighty and so we can curse or we can actually speak life on ourselves.

00:26:34.961 --> 00:26:47.767
And a lot of times, even when people just like jokingly say, oh you know, I can't afford that, I'm broke, I'm like, don't do that, don't do that, because if that's the energy you want to attract, that's the energy you're going to get.

00:26:47.767 --> 00:26:55.455
And I'm like you know, at the end of the day, the frequency that we have as human beings, the universe doesn't know good and bad.

00:26:55.455 --> 00:26:58.904
It's just like, whatever you put out, you're going to get back right.

00:26:58.904 --> 00:27:08.465
So it doesn't know right from wrong, it doesn't know good or bad, it just knows this is the frequency you're on, so this is the frequency I'm going to deliver on.

00:27:08.465 --> 00:27:14.519
And so it's like you speak negative, you're going to have a negative like kind of day.

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.087
I always tell people when you wake up in the morning, right, you kind of create your own stress.

00:27:19.087 --> 00:27:27.227
You wake up and automatically you're thinking, oh, oh, my God, I have to go to work, I have to get the kids ready, it's going to be a long day.

00:27:27.227 --> 00:27:29.114
It's raining, it's ugly outside.

00:27:29.114 --> 00:27:30.539
Oh, this is horrible.

00:27:30.539 --> 00:27:33.144
I don't, I don't even want to do anything today.

00:27:33.163 --> 00:27:34.605
I just want to stay home, right?

00:27:34.605 --> 00:27:36.048
So now, all of a sudden, you've just.

00:27:36.048 --> 00:27:41.355
The first thing you did as you opened your eyes was set that intention for your day.

00:27:41.355 --> 00:27:49.017
So now, when you go outside and you catch a flat and everything else happens, you're going to be so vivid because you're like.

00:27:49.017 --> 00:27:49.237
I knew it.

00:27:49.237 --> 00:27:55.070
I knew this was going to be a bad day, but this is the type of day you've been attracting from the moment you opened your eyes.

00:27:55.070 --> 00:27:56.000
Yep.

00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:00.484
So why are you mad as to where you can wake up?

00:28:01.246 --> 00:28:06.112
You can be extremely grateful for even waking up, taking that breath.

00:28:06.112 --> 00:28:09.776
You know, seeing the rain, Some people didn't wake up.

00:28:09.776 --> 00:28:18.531
You know, be grateful for what you have, and once you're grateful for what you have, you get more to be grateful for.

00:28:18.531 --> 00:28:23.291
So you don't have to look at it as, oh my gosh, it's going to be a horrible day.

00:28:23.291 --> 00:28:24.836
Okay, it's raining, All right, cool.

00:28:24.836 --> 00:28:26.539
Well, I'll just grab an umbrella.

00:28:26.539 --> 00:28:29.525
I'll make sure that I'm early because there's going to be traffic.

00:28:29.525 --> 00:28:31.769
You know, I'll do everything I have to do.

00:28:31.769 --> 00:28:32.830
And then guess what?

00:28:32.830 --> 00:28:33.712
If you catch a flat?

00:28:33.712 --> 00:28:37.826
Oh, wow, Okay, well, I was running early anyway, so I have time to go get it fixed.

00:28:37.826 --> 00:28:38.686
Let me get to work.

00:28:39.268 --> 00:28:40.329
Nothing's going to stop you.

00:28:40.329 --> 00:28:40.810
You know.

00:28:40.810 --> 00:28:42.134
Nothing's going to get in your way.

00:28:42.134 --> 00:28:47.167
You're not going to take it to heart and you're not going to flip out about it because you're grateful.

00:28:47.167 --> 00:28:48.289
You're just grateful to be here.

00:28:48.289 --> 00:28:49.490
You're grateful for everything.

00:28:49.490 --> 00:28:51.454
You're like I get to go to a job.

00:28:51.454 --> 00:28:54.763
You know people don't get to go to a job.

00:28:54.763 --> 00:28:57.626
Like you know you get to take your breath.

00:28:57.626 --> 00:28:59.388
You get to know that you're healthy today.

00:28:59.388 --> 00:29:05.476
You get to know that your family and your loved ones, they're still intact, they're still healthy, they're still breathing.

00:29:05.476 --> 00:29:10.691
Yeah, these are little things to be grateful for and a lot of people just take it for granted.

00:29:11.740 --> 00:29:18.309
One of the top things that the most successful people in the world do is literally write down what they're grateful for every single day.

00:29:18.309 --> 00:29:19.712
They have like gratitude journals.

00:29:19.712 --> 00:29:21.434
They hang them up on their walls.

00:29:21.434 --> 00:29:27.827
They make sure to be grateful for what they have, rather than because the human brain naturally goes to the negative.

00:29:27.827 --> 00:29:34.215
It's crazy, like like that's like you said, the first thing we think in the morning is I'm so tired, I don't want to get out of bed.

00:29:34.215 --> 00:29:35.721
It's raining, it's ugly out, like.

00:29:35.721 --> 00:29:39.488
Instead of thinking of the good things, the human brain is like why are to do that?

00:29:39.488 --> 00:29:42.271
And so it does take training and working with a coach.

00:29:42.271 --> 00:29:44.295
I mean it's definitely helpful.

00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:47.702
I actually asked one of the judges that I work with.

00:29:47.702 --> 00:30:02.556
I asked him because he's really into writing books and he's working on a book right now, actually and I asked him think about because he deals a lot with with younger people and their development and the brain and why they end up doing what they do.

00:30:02.556 --> 00:30:07.765
And so I asked him like, do you ever do you know anything about life coaching?

00:30:07.765 --> 00:30:14.731
Or like, have you ever met any of these kids who have a life coach or whoever you know thought about that?

00:30:14.731 --> 00:30:18.276
And of course, he said not really.

00:30:18.276 --> 00:30:26.834
I mean, of course, in the Bronx they probably, you know right, if it's like a little bit of like a lower income, because I know coaching it's not cheap but it's worth it.

00:30:28.381 --> 00:30:33.705
But he said that he just knew about mentors, which he kind of was thinking was the same thing.

00:30:33.705 --> 00:30:50.446
But I in my heart I wanted to be like, well, it's actually not the same thing, because a coach is not not necessarily someone who has been through what this person is going through, which is what a mentor, he was saying, and his point was like that's what a mentor is is someone who's experienced the same thing and can relate to them.

00:30:50.446 --> 00:31:05.987
But a coach, that's not really what a coach, like a coach, a life coach, can coach on anything that, even if they haven't been through it, but the tool of knowing how to use your mind and knowing how to manage your emotions and like manifest whatever you want to do.

00:31:05.987 --> 00:31:07.228
It's totally different.

00:31:07.228 --> 00:31:08.269
It's so beneficial.

00:31:08.269 --> 00:31:15.317
I think that's one of the things I think that young people should like school systems, should put it into the school system, like about how do we?

00:31:15.337 --> 00:31:16.220
manage our emotions?

00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:20.183
How do we use this brain that, like God, has given us?

00:31:20.183 --> 00:31:31.477
You know how computers are so advanced in technology now and they're so useful and AI and all this stuff technology but the human brain is like the most advanced thing.

00:31:31.477 --> 00:31:33.663
I mean, the human brain is what's coming up with all these things.

00:31:33.663 --> 00:31:38.833
If we know how to utilize the brain that we have, it can really advance us forward.

00:31:40.141 --> 00:31:41.122
No, absolutely.

00:31:41.122 --> 00:31:52.032
And one of the things you touched on, which I'm glad you've mentioned, was managing your emotions, and that is something that is extremely hard for people to do.

00:31:52.032 --> 00:32:03.785
I find myself telling a lot of business owners and a lot of like I guess you could say a lot of people in like higher positions, whether it's in the court or whatever.

00:32:03.785 --> 00:32:13.934
I always tell them, if you're in a leadership position or you have a business, you cannot mix your personal feelings with business and work.

00:32:13.934 --> 00:32:17.518
That is a major no, no, like.

00:32:17.518 --> 00:32:20.099
You will not be successful in that matter.

00:32:20.099 --> 00:32:34.930
You have to learn to turn off those emotions when it comes like your personal emotions when it comes to your business or when it comes to you being in a superior position at work, because the two do not mix at all.

00:32:34.930 --> 00:32:51.300
And I found that that is probably the hardest thing that people are faced with, because they take everything so personal and it's like why, why are you taking this personal?

00:32:51.300 --> 00:32:55.305
I'm one person that does not take anything personal at all.

00:32:55.615 --> 00:32:56.859
I know how to separate the two.

00:32:56.859 --> 00:33:00.913
People can say one thing to me and they'll be like oh, please, don't take it personal.

00:33:00.913 --> 00:33:02.140
I'm like no, absolutely not.

00:33:02.140 --> 00:33:06.963
I didn't even get offended by that Like I take it as a learning curve.

00:33:06.963 --> 00:33:15.164
If you're telling me something, I'm gonna take the lesson from it and I'm gonna try to apply it to what I need to apply it to.

00:33:15.164 --> 00:33:17.020
A lot of people can't do that.

00:33:17.020 --> 00:33:22.843
A lot of people take everything, everything personal and I'm like, oh gosh, that's a major no-no.

00:33:22.843 --> 00:33:29.201
So I work with clients to help them also like, separate the two, and they're like, oh, how do you do it?

00:33:29.201 --> 00:33:32.461
You make it seem like it's just like a button that you push and it's so easy.

00:33:32.461 --> 00:33:35.864
And I'm like, no, again, it took time for me to get here.

00:33:35.864 --> 00:33:37.200
It didn't happen overnight.

00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:39.260
I used to take things personal.

00:33:39.260 --> 00:33:41.641
I'm not that person anymore.

00:33:41.641 --> 00:33:46.038
Like, I grew through it, I worked through it, I did the inner work, I invested in myself.

00:33:46.038 --> 00:33:53.545
So people definitely, yeah, I always say, if you can do it, listen, invest in yourself for sure.

00:33:53.815 --> 00:34:14.503
Even people take circumstances personally, like there could be two different people who have completely different results, but we're born into the exact same circumstance and one of them the one that's in a you know created a result that they're not happy with and the other one created a result that is impacting the entire world.

00:34:14.503 --> 00:34:18.405
But it's because of the way they're thinking about their circumstance.

00:34:18.405 --> 00:34:21.981
One is taking it personally, like why was I born into this situation?

00:34:21.981 --> 00:34:22.903
This is terrible.

00:34:22.903 --> 00:34:29.485
And then the other one's like because of my circumstance, because of my situation, I was able to do this.

00:34:29.485 --> 00:34:31.802
So there's always, like, a different way to look at things.

00:34:31.802 --> 00:34:43.780
Whether it's something someone said to you, something that happened to you, there's always a way to look at it, to make something positive come out of it, absolutely absolutely, and that does happen, you know.

00:34:43.894 --> 00:34:49.981
You have people that they didn't have everything growing up, you know, but they made the best of it.

00:34:49.981 --> 00:34:59.065
They read books, they became more educated because they knew that maybe the education system was not really, you know, at their disposal, like that.

00:34:59.065 --> 00:35:07.465
And then you have those that go to the most prestige schools and colleges and it's like wow, like what happened?

00:35:07.465 --> 00:35:10.264
You know, they just chose to go the wrong route.

00:35:10.264 --> 00:35:13.456
And then you're like I can't believe this person did that, you know.

00:35:13.617 --> 00:35:21.221
Or I've heard parents say you know, I've invested so much money on my child and then this is what he turned out to be or this is what she turned out to be.

00:35:21.221 --> 00:35:26.382
And then you have those that were like, yeah, like you know, my parents didn't have it growing up.

00:35:26.382 --> 00:35:34.682
You know, they struggled and they came from another country here to make a way for us, for us to, you know, actually do something with our lives.

00:35:34.682 --> 00:35:40.117
And now they probably own like six businesses and they're just doing great and it's just.

00:35:40.117 --> 00:35:42.965
You know, you are what you make of yourself.

00:35:42.965 --> 00:35:50.778
Honestly, if you're gonna sit there and you're gonna have a pity party for yourself, listen, I'm not the one that's gonna have a pity party with you.

00:35:50.778 --> 00:35:53.382
I'm not bringing the champagne to this party.

00:35:53.382 --> 00:35:59.202
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry you are on your own.

00:35:59.675 --> 00:36:01.260
You just reminded me because I had another.

00:36:01.260 --> 00:36:06.539
So this is like this might be a tricky question, because I'm actually curious to know the answer, what you think about this.

00:36:06.539 --> 00:36:12.259
Because so when you said the word prestigious schools, it reminded me, because before I wanted to ask this and then I totally forgot about it.

00:36:12.259 --> 00:36:13.775
But it's so.

00:36:13.775 --> 00:36:20.583
I recently went to an acapella concert and at that acapella concert it was Ivy League college students singing.

00:36:20.583 --> 00:36:25.646
It was groups from Princeton, harvard, yale and Dartmouth.

00:36:26.155 --> 00:36:54.059
One of the things I noticed was that what they teach in the Ivy League schools I guess because it's such a high level of education not only do they teach them the academics, but they also teach them about character and how to have a sense of humor and how to be a personable person, because they didn't just sing the songs, but they also introduced themselves in their introduction, were very funny and very relatable and but.

00:36:54.059 --> 00:36:55.682
But it was just.

00:36:55.682 --> 00:37:03.856
I've always wondered this like they are using humor to kind of actually put themselves down a little bit, but at the same time, what do you think about that Like?

00:37:03.856 --> 00:37:11.996
Is there a fine line between humorously putting yourself down, like slash, making fun of yourself a little bit, or not Like.

00:37:11.996 --> 00:37:13.681
Do you think that's positive at all?

00:37:14.094 --> 00:37:25.121
I think it depends on what you're saying, right, because like, let's say, for example, I don't know, let's just say so, for example.

00:37:25.121 --> 00:37:30.822
So with me, my boyfriend always has this thing where he says that I have squirrel brain, right.

00:37:30.822 --> 00:37:37.181
So he's always like, oh, you have squirrel brain, like you just can't sit on one thing, like you're like everywhere.

00:37:37.181 --> 00:37:39.884
And at first I kind of was like, what does he mean by that?

00:37:39.884 --> 00:37:41.320
Is he like trying to insult me?

00:37:41.320 --> 00:37:59.246
So then I learned to embrace it and I had to look at it from his point of view and I'm like you know what he's right, because if I looked at somebody like me, I would be like man, this girl's always like one minute here, there, there, like she's always, you know, starting one thing, forgetting to finish that one and going on to the next, and stuff like that.

00:37:59.375 --> 00:38:03.106
So at some point I learned to make the joke on myself.

00:38:03.106 --> 00:38:06.123
So I would be like, oh yeah, this and that.

00:38:06.123 --> 00:38:08.623
And then I'm like, oh my God, I just did this, I went to do this.

00:38:08.623 --> 00:38:11.001
Oh my gosh, here goes that squirrel brain, right?

00:38:11.001 --> 00:38:12.960
So he starts laughing.

00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:26.315
So if you're doing it in that sense, yeah, but not to the sense where you're like degrading yourself or kind of like putting yourself down, Because at the end of the day, that's something that you know.

00:38:26.315 --> 00:38:36.621
Even if you feel like it'll help you get over how you feel about it, I still wouldn't do it, because you shouldn't make yourself the butt of anybody's joke either.

00:38:37.394 --> 00:38:54.882

#31 - From Court Officer to Beauty Entrepreneur with Jamie Zeno

Listen On

Recent Episodes